Don't Ask


No More Relapses


Sometimes I was afraid

I didn't want to go so many years

then hear the same things come out of your mouth

that cut me open before

Harsh words about my honest weaknesses

or that my heart

my endless dedication would not be enough

I worried that you would grow bored of me

and tell me to get a life away from you

When all I want is to make you my life

The reason to wake up each dreadful day

and every day absorb a little more of your soul

while I give you mine.

Then there were the times when your energy

traveled through the state

South down the highway and blew in through my window

I could close my eyes and smell you next to me

Hear you whisper "kiddo"

and swallow me with your arms

And I wasn't afraid

I was empowered

Confident that you wanted me to wait for you

So I did

I got rid of the broken glass

and cleaned things up so you would

find me ready

for you to claim your territory.


Piper Marau


Questions


is this going to be a habit?

am i a fool for not running away?

will my opinion matter?

would it be different if i were there?

are these the people that will benefit you the most?

what more might they ask of you?

there any chance you would ask me to do it too?

would it change you?

would you ever hide things from me?

how does it make you feel when you do it?

would it make a difference if i asked you to stop?

am i putting too much pressure on you?

do you need me to keep tabs on you?

would you like me to be your voice of reason?

is this just a phase in your life that you are going through?

do you need space to decide where things are going?

am i distracting you right now or do you need something more from me?

are you happy or unhappy?

can i do anything to help you in any way?

are you going to ignore me a little more now?





Take Your Time


I know I trust you.

The night you could have held me over the edge

but I was too timid

Not trusting myself

but only you

and now I have you

so far away

your time not occupied by me

And regretting not letting you hold me

over the edge

And still trusting in you to be there

When its over

And hoping

wishing

longing

forcing

That you'll trust

That you know

I'll be here waiting.


Piper Marau


A Long One Please


You'd have me read for you

On a quiet lonely night

Made less miserable by the sound of a voice

Reading poetry by anyone

Good writers with harsh tones

Or an abstract view on the world that it had its own music

The cats were just fighting in the street

Yowling and biting over a piece of the road

The only noise of the night

Not even a coyote howling in the distance

But that deafening silence and hum of the highway

Cars coming and going to place we don't care about

Or don't know about

Feeling comforted still

Reading to you

As you are drunk and grasping

And I try desperately to be there

For you to grab on to

And just desperate

Not for a sleazy haunt

But the warmth

The touch that can be felt in a voice

Hoping my words would wrap around you like a blanket

The weight of them pressing on your chest

Making you feel

To face what you were running from

That particular night

It could not have been the same reason every time

Being a man that has lived so much

Collected milestones for the conscience


Piper Marau

<3


I'm trying to wear out your name

Soft whispers to myself pretending

You are here

I believe that and the world stops

My heart rushes

The earth stops shaking

And my mind ticks away at prose

Often drifting to that tub

The book I need to finish reading you

The joy of listening to the music

With you

That I use to get by when I'm away from you

The connection made complete after months of longing

To be held and listened to

Touched at the soul

To touch your soul

Its MY soul

Its a little dirtier

But its my soul

I feed off it and gather inspiration

And unload the junk in my head

Or unload to you

Or on a piece of scratch

Or talk to myself as though you were here

I never catch myself until I am done

Then I drift off again

To your skin

Tight

Softer than the wind

Mapped out with character

I kissed every scar

Each its own symbol towards what you've been through

As we lay in that bathwater

A mixed soup

Melting as we slowly cook

Your delicious skin clinging to mine

With electricity

Shooting adrenaline through my heart

As your sweat becomes the water

And I travel my fingers through your arms

And cupping your head in my hand

As the most precious treasure

Indulging myself with the texture

Of your hair

Feeling whole

And holding you

Breathing up and down against you

Your gentle pulse whispers in my ear

Telling me to hold you forever

Echoing in my memory

Soft and loud

Chanting

And enchanting

Gripping me with your arm

The body of a snake

Twisted around me

Keeping me held together

And melting into my skin

In the soup


Piper Marau


You


I hear a noise in the yard

I know I wish it were you

Coming from so far for

That look

That kiss

That time spent in the arms

The arms of peace

Nothing more peaceful than that embrace

Like the one with you last

In that cold garage

That hot summer

The sky even gray

Why did I let you go

To fly a sky that is empty with out me

Just so I could go back into the woods

To fight my way back out

And into the sunshine


Piper Marau


Dimming the Lights

 

What do you expect now

Are you bracing for the final blow

Predicting the fiery end that has no escape

Every word that I say is like the sharp fall of a brick

Another bridge you may feel obligated to burn

Like the weight of the world has burdened your soul

So who asked you to fret over me

When was it that I begged you to take me into your cold heart

I never insisted you stop running from the world

Or said you were ever perfect for me, just perfect

When this tantrum passes you will be the same to me

Inspiring and beautiful--mean the way I like my friends

And you will remain unable to alter the path I have chosen

Nor am I to ever argue yours

So when the end does not come as you expected

Can you learn to accept my unyielding friendship and affection?

 

Piper Marau


A Day for the Brave, A Night for the Blues

 

I watched you walk into the water

The waves crashed around your legs

The dark sky circled around you

While the ground I stood on dissolved under my feet

I was scared to jump in that day

I hesitated and stared at you with wide eyes

Taken in by your strong figure

Being swept away at the shore

The sunshine came out

And I was in awe of the heat

Salty and timid

I waited

Giving in a little at a time

Feeling the tide swoon me in

By your side resisting the unsteady waves

The ground slipping beneath us

With time and reality

And beckoning softly to come closer

Showing its temper when we don't

Thrashing at us until we move

Inching in a little further

United with the rolling tide

I fell into the water that day

I began to swim through my emotions

And I watched you walk through the water.

 

Piper Marau


Opium, Sandalwood, and Patchouli

 

I hope every time I strike your lighter you feel it

Deep inside I wish it pinches your heart

Every time I light a fire with the flame you left me

And I hope the wind at night brings my scent to you

Reminding you of...anything good about me

Nights I wonder if I am a joke to you

I have missed several moments

Latched on to a hope for something that may never be real

But it was real to me

The look deep in your eyes that spoke to me

The parts of you that you try to hide

In the smoke I dream of you

Moments into the future that I know will become reality

But how deep are those moments we will share

Are they deeper than the blue in this lighter

Will they be endless like the view into your eyes

Or will I drown in a phantom pool of emotions.

 

Piper Marau


Guest of Honor

 

I was up to no good that night

Heading for the turn-style again

Stopped only by a sudden arrival

It was sweaty that night

My hair clung desperately to my neck

And for once I didn't know what to do

Trembling, embarrassed

Up to the 9's to your perfect 10

Suspected of plotting

Plotting yes, but plotting what?

Something we all must know by now

Yet I hid it so well

Only to be cured by you

Slapped in the face by the awful truth.

 

Piper Marau


The Awful Truth

 

You are a sharp one

Yes

Piercing through

Violently stripping it down to its rotten core

And you smell

You reek of filth and bile

Darker than the shit stains you leave behind

After you are done laying out the guts

Smearing everything in your sight

You lack any shame

There is no remorse with you around

No one may find comfort once you have done your job

And you do it so well.

 

Piper Marau


The Bottom Rantings

 

It's always better from the bottle

No glass

No cup or bowl

Just your open mouth and that damned bottle

The source of it all

But when you are allowed only a glass

It is savored and sipped

Graceful and elegant

Unlike the bold bottle

Heavy and full of more than you can take

And it tastes so much better

It feels like more

Than just glass by glass

Where four glasses seems like so much

And one bottle never ends

Yet it is all the same

You get the same result when you tally it all up

But conquering that bottle is so satisfying

So fulfilling and meaningful

And sloppy

It is unrestricted lasting forever

Until it is gone

And you are always gone too soon

And this bottle is mine.

 

Piper Marau


You are so comfortable

I sink so quickly into you

I am always naked around you

All of my inner self is revealed and I  am in your control

Completely trusting

Under so much power

And completely safe

With your confidence and darkness

Bleeding into your charm

I appreciate how honest you are with me

And how rough you are

And I am tough enough to handle you now

I know your buttons, where you are weak

You knowing I will never abuse that

As our strangeness mixed I felt a change

The rough parts of you became soft

Making me drift into you

So comfortable.

 

Piper Marau


A Moment of Human Contact

 

Two souls searching

Eyes wide exploring the boundaries

Breathe steady

Hold on

So tight you become one

No strangers to the feeling

Yet no stranger was the moment

Full of pain

Open and vulnerable to me

Nails dig deeper

The exhale more shallow

Two hearts are beating

Back from the dead

Disturbed from a long nap

Raw desire takes over

And closer

And closer still

Absorbing the feeling

Making it last

Suddenly they part

The moment has passed

Carved forever on the heart.

 

Piper Marau