Area 51


It's not a joke

Or a forwarded e-mail

Just another reminder

Yet another assail

To the obvious fact

That we all oft fear

That you've gained

Still another year.


This mysterious place

Where things go "nada"

Is all around you

Not just in Nevada

Things disappear

Without a trace

Then suddenly reappear

In another place.


It plays tricks on your mind

When you start a chore

You walk to another room

And forget just what for

You try to combat it

By making list upon list

But alas to no prevail

The problems persist.


This Area you've entered

One cannot express

Though you see no boundaries

It's there none the less

But don't worry too much

This will soon be behind you

For in just one year

You'll attain Fifty-Two.


My dad wrote this. 

Shadows Of The Abyss


Shrouded in Darkness,
Dwelling in the Abyss,
A soul once pure,
Now tainted to the core.

Living but a fading dream,
Death and undeath a forming reality,
Thriving for a kindred spirit,
A search forever eternal.

A World never known begins to form,
Where darkness reigns,
And light is but a weakness,
Where darker beings roam.

Rivers flow with crimson torrents,
And creatures of darkness thrive and flourish,
Howling at a sanguine moon,
Searching for a kindred spirit.

In the shadows they writhe and creep,
Living ever in an eternal night,
Trapped and tormented in a hellish nightmare,
Dreaming of an escape.

Living in a hellish nightmare,
Where darkness reigns,
And light is shunned,
In the shadows I will forever live.




Perfect as a porcelain doll,
Rolling through life like nothing wrong,
Moving through life like I will do no wrong,
Perfect as a porcelain doll.

Living life as others expect me,
Living up to the otherworldly expectations,
Dying a little more each day,
Expectations like mortal wounds.

Perfect like a porcelain doll,
Expected to be the best there ever was,
Pushing past the limits, pushing past exhaustion,
Yet perfect like a porcelain doll.

Moving blindly through life,
Passing everything by, just to be perfect,
Breaking down at every corner,
Yet perfect as a porcelain doll.

Cracks begin to form,
The doll begins to fall,
Solid shell now in fragments,
Perfect porcelain doll, now shattered.

Perfect as a porcelain doll,
Broken like a dropped egg.
Perfect porcelain doll.......
No longer perfect.



Old And New


In the shadows of the night,
Where fallen angels take their flight,
In the darkness is where I search,
For a knowledge lost in time.

As the moon rises up,
In a dark and clouded sky,
Times of old and of anew,
Hide the knowledge of the Gods.

Knowledge that was long forgotten,
Hidden in the waves of time,
Buried deep within the souls,
Of fallen angels new and old.

As the time closes in,
When the fallen wake again,
The long lost knowledge flows again,
As memories lost are known again.

So here I wait within the night,
Craving, bidding through my plight,
For the knowledge to come again,
In this lone and desolate land.



In The Darkness


In the darkness where I hide,
Where pain and hurt are my guide,
I walk the paths bathed in shadow,
Learning lessons others shun.

Cast in darkness of the night,
Finding qualms with all the light,
Sanctuary found in deep shadow,
Shunning day for the moonlit shadow.

In the darkness where I hide,
Where depression and heartache break me,
I slowly count the time that fades,
In a world I don't belong.

As the time passes by,
The world slowly slides,
Into shadows of the night,
Provoking me for a dreaded flight.

As the darkness closes in,
My mind so slowly does wear thin,
Pulling quickly down my soul,
To a hell of my own.



Fragile Heart


I wear my heart upon my sleeve,
For all to see pump and breathe,
Fragile as a house of glass,
Slowly cracking like sun dried mud.

Hopes and dreams paramount,
Slightest setback devastating,
The slightest love makes it thrive,
Brightening my day, my life and soul.

Fragile like a house of glass,
I'm frail and easily hurt,
Emotions like a child,
Giving until hurt.

Fear of a broken heart,
A constant thought, a constant fear,
Will life throw another pebble,
Cracking the glass a little more?

Tell me now, will I be hurt,
Tell me now, will this work?
Tell me now, am I a lie,
Tell me now, can I no longer hurt?

Shield me from the pain,
Shield me from the thoughts.
Help me find that love,
Which I so devotedly search for.

Keep me from the cliff,
Keep me from the abyss.
Pull me back from the darkness,
That will devour me whole.

Bring me to the light,
Show me a love which I only imagined.



Broken Hopes


Broken hopes,
Broken dreams,
Shattered hearts,
Shattered souls.

In a world without compassion,
In a world without consolation,
We die a little day by day,
We suffer more night by night.

Time passes moment by moment,
Years fly by as if in seconds,
Life disappears in a flash;
And yet we live on.

Shadows deepen as night draws on,
Darkness devours all into oblivion.
Moon and stars shine like beacons,
Leading a path till the light of dawn.

Inner daemons pummel and mutilate,
Shredding and mauling a soul so long tortured,
A tortured soul longing and praying
for a desirable release,
A release that fades and disappears,
Leaving me in my own prison.






When you have a normal average car...
-Never totally happy with the car.
-Will try anything to add more horsepower.
-You take great pride in it and keep it well maintained.
-Car is small but it gets you around and serves its purpose fine.
-Well built and dependable but women often point and laugh.
-Always want a better, more expensive car.

When you have an Expensive top of the line car
-Lucky if you have one and afraid of what it can do at times.
-People often complain of it being cramped when inside.
-Leaks fluids occasionally and needs professional maintenance for the upkeep of performance.
-Uses the best lubricants and filters.
-Requires more expensive rubbers than that of smaller ones.

Some are convertibles while others aren't and people's preferences differ.

cynical steve

Am I your friend?

I ponder how. 

The times we had,

But not right now. 

What you seek,

You won't find in me. 

I'm just a worthless liar,

Just let me be. 

If things were different,

I might understand. 

I lay here before you,

Knife in hand. 

Blood is dry and o' so red. 

The pain of sorrow and regret for the dead. 

What can be done?

It is far too late. 

Just think of the past, and exonerate. 

Things can't be undone,

But they can be forgiven.

I pray I get that much just for livin'.

cynical steve-Sleepless night 2/4/03

Let's suppose you went fishing and you caught a fish.
So you really did want to keep the fish so you go about removing this hook you intentionally put in this poor fish's mouth.  Ok, here is where the problem lays.


1.Sometimes that hook is barely holding so removal is not a problem. How did I managed to land this one without it hooked good.


2.Other times the fish has the hook lodged in a deeper part of the mouth and extracting the hook has become somewhat of a chore. So for the fish you are going to release you try your best not to totally destroy the poor fish. The hook comes out and you are happy as is the fish.


3.Then you have the hook that is stuck in an eye socket and nothing more to do than attempt to ease the suffering of the poor fish. Even though the worst is bound to happen...


4.Oh great, the fish swallowed the hook totally and you cannot see anything but the eye of hook and the knot you tied so carefully.  What are you to do?  Some just cut the line and throw the fish back while hoping the hook will dissolve in the water after a period of time.  Then you have the people who couldn't care less about the fish and just yank really hard and get back their favorite lucky lure. 

Serious relationships go much like that when you like/love someone and then decide to release them.


1.Well we only went on a few dates so ending the relationship wasn't that hard...I was in class and well he was somebody to talk to at the time.
*takes hook out with ease*

2.I really thought we had something going but I suppose we are a little older and a little wiser and even though we love each other we know it is time to quit...Well, we were friends a couple years but not like best friends.
*gets the pliers and removes hook due to location farther in*
3.I'm just going to end it...I cheated and it is too late now I've got to end it...I told a few secrets that I shouldn't of told and I just need to get some space and let things cool down.
before someone finds out and gets hurt.

*takes out the hook from around the eye carefully*

4.I liked the person a lot but it just wasn't gonna happen and I don't know how to tell them without hurting their feelings because we were together for quite some time...Best friends for years but things are different and I don't want to have anything to do with their new lifestyle.
*cuts line and hopes for the best.*


5.We were married for 4 years and I just don't feel the love anymore...I'm not gonna try and fix this relationship I just don't care anymore...I was the best friend I could possibly be and in return I got nothing!...they used me and abused me and I'm sick of it! Nothing can change what happened...
*grabs line and just pulls*

By cynical steve

Once upon a time,
There was a small green lime,
To be eaten by a mime
I'm glad this poem rhymes.

With this small green PHRUTE,
To be eaten by a mime named Doot,
(Who always wore 1 boot)
Came a bright green newt.

First the newt was mad,
Then the newt was sad,
For the lime was his dad.
The lime was eaten, and this was bad.



Here I sit alone in this misery.

Watching the black clouds move far across the dark sky.
I look at the tombstone of an angel.
and all I see is the mourning face of immortality.

I feel a heavy hand touch my shoulder.
I turn around and see the beautiful dark eyes of death staring back at me.
My body raises, as if I were floating, to stare evenly into his eyes.
He touches my face gently and leans in for a kiss.
I feel him kiss my neck softly and then dig his fangs deep into my skin.
A sudden rush of pleasure from the pain rushes through my body.
He feeds so gently upon my soul.

My body becomes weak as he slowly lays me beside the Angel, and slips into the darkness awaiting for the next time.
As I stare up into the Angel's eyes, it looks down welcoming me to the other side.

 - Wendy Wilkerson-